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    我放棄了

    時間:2015-08-28 來源:未知 編輯:小云 閱讀:

      老師在說的話,一句也進不了我的耳里。

      接下來,要發Projected Result了。

      Projected Result,就是指以我們上年高二的成績,還有暑假的Pre-Mock Exam的成績作為基礎,然后推算、預測我們以現在的水平在真正的DSE能考到的分數。

      握著通告的手在顫抖著,眼眶好濕,快要淌出淚來了。

      不過,那不是緊張、內疚、心虛、害怕的淚,而是……啊,我也不知道這是帶著什么情感的淚了。

      怎么說呢……就像是一個小屁孩跟父母求什么求得要哭那樣吧?

      現在的我正在心里默默的禱告著。

      可是我求的并不是一張成績很理想的Projected Result。

      “神啊,我求求你。”

      “求你用接下來的那張Projected Result,讓我徹底的死心吧。”

      “請不要再讓我動搖,因為我已經做好放棄的覺悟。”

      就算沒有Projected Result,我也知道自己的實力是什么程度……

      我只是成績差,并不是一個蠢人,才不會作這種不自量力的挑戰。

      沒錯,我放棄了。

      我放棄了JUPAS,放棄了DSE,放棄了中文系,放棄了副學士,連自資的大學學位也放棄了。

      可是,我從來沒說過我會放棄寫作這個夢想。

      如果說考DSE上八大名校是王道的做法,那我的做法就是邪道的做法了。

      我今天的放棄,是為了將來置諸死地而后生所作出的準備。

      去打工,先儲些錢。

      然后,再用這筆錢東山再起。

      我想過來臺灣念文學。

      在臺灣這個文化氣息重的地方念文學,怎也比留在香港這個錢味比書味濃烈的國際金融中心念中文好吧?

      現在的我,已經為了夢想豁出去,放下了我一直沒勇氣放下的日常,把幸福放在心里,帶著這份情感準備振翅高起飛,往夢想前進。

      沒事的,還有facebook在,還有那個群組在,還有那位我們彼此都相信著的神在,無論我飛得多高多遠,這羈絆也不會折斷的。

      反而會成為我的支持,我的力量,我的后盾。

      也許將來升上大學,我們會有緣成為同學,也許還會坐在你旁邊也說不定。

      我什么也不會,如果真的這么不幸讓我這個什么也不會的白癡菜鳥成為你的同學的話,到時就請多多指教羅~☆

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